FSC Psychotherapy Services
Addiction -- Internet Infidelity
Internet addiction starts when the
rest of a person's life falls apart because of excessive online
activity. The Internet is a fine hobby or work tool until it
causes problems with social partners, work, or school.
Internet Abuse , Pathological Internet Use (PIU),
Net Addiction are just a few of the phrases used to
describe what the American Psychological Association as long ago
as 1997 accepted as a pathological behaviour or disorder. Not to
be confused with the early zeal of a newcomer to the internet,
Internet addiction is an extreme development. Net addiction has
ruined lives. At FCS we have gained considerable experience and a
marvelous success rate, dealing with Internet addiction problems.
Building a support team which invariably includes the family
doctor as well as the entire immediate family, our goal will be
to return normalcy, balance, happiness (overall wellness) to your
life in short order.
Surprisingly, we find the internet "junky" is not
a high-tech computer 'geek' but more likely to be a nearly
computer illiterate or 'enthusiastic tourist' to the internet
world. Many computer professionals such as software research and
development programmers; computer network system engineers and
administrators; web designers and developers, all spend countless
hours in front of a computer monitor, just as a bus driver spends
countless hours "behind the wheel". So before you leap to the
conclusion that you have a 'net junkie' in your household, make
certain first that they are not your basic burgeoning genius
(a.k.a. computer geek) just finishing their first two hundred
thousand lines of program language to create the next generation
of operating system software or robotics programming.
Here are a few signs to watch
- Using the online services everyday without skipping a
- Loosing track of time after making a connection and going out
less and less.
- * Spending excessive amounts of time
(2-4 hrs. per day) on Multi-User Dungeons, Newsgroups, Chats,
two-way communications (i.e.: ICQ), Messenger Services etc.
- Your social life depends on making acquaintances on the
- Your sex life depends on making acquaintances on the
- Spending less and less time on meals at home or at work, and
eating in front of the monitor.
- Denying time with your loved ones while spending too much
time on the internet. Then denying and making excuses when
- Family members complaining of your spending too much time in
front of the monitor.
- Checking on your mailbox too many times a day.
- Logging onto the Net while already busy at work.
- Sneaking online when spouse or family members are not at
home, with a sense of relief.
* Ninety Percent of problems are
in this area.
Is CyberSex Equal to
If your life/social partner feels that certain
kinds of cyber activity are outside the bounds of your
"partnership agreement", then "CyberSex" is assuredly a form of
infidelity or cheating. Within the context of the traditional
marriage, it is our view that most two-way communication
"CyberSex" or "cyber-dating" is a form of betrayal and
infidelity. Where these issues are creating tension and
hostility within a relationship or family, both individual and
joint counseling is strongly recommended.
The Internet has become a conduit for types of
pornography that have become both legal and moral issues.
Arguably, that which is not covered within the criminal statutes
and dealt with by our courts is between yourself, your
conscience, your spouse and your spiritual advisor.
Notwithstanding, it is our view that long-term excessive
attendance at pornographic web sites is an indicator of some
significant underlying problems. Identifying this problem often
leaves one with the conclusion that there are at the least some
reality perception issues and failures within the balance of
life. Of course other possibilities could also be indicated.
There can be a fine line between what is healthy sexuality and
what is not. Extremeness speaks for itself.
If you are not sure but suspect you, your partner,
or child has an addiction problem, contact us to make a
consultation appointment. Often that will lead to additional
referrals. For certain, the odds say that you cannot cope with
the problem alone. It is important to seek out professional help
to recognize the social, political, economic, and cultural
context within which the suspect addiction and / or substance
abuse exist, including risk and resiliency factors. Significant
life changes may be indicated or contra-indicated thus poor
recognition of the problem's many parameters could lead to
unschooled remedy which then actually worsens the problem.
Parents of a drug-abusing offspring, for example, are often
fooled by symptoms owing to the potential for substance abuse
disorders to mimic a variety of medical and psychological
disorders; and for the potential for medical and psychological
disorders to co-exist with addiction and substance abuse.
Multi-facted treatment may be essential to a complete extraction
plan. Our view is that no effort should be spared to put every
barrier possible between your child and illegal drugs.
Treatment, recovery, relapse prevention, and continuing care
for addiction of many types:
- pornography: obsessive relationships with a fantasy
- substance abuse: drug addiction,
- sex addiction: promiscuity, compulsive masturbation,
anonymous sex, pedophilia, phone sex, fetishes, voyeurism
Anger issues are
numerous and varied in their complexity. As a single 'feeling',
anger is a natural human emotion, nature's way of helping us
"ward off" our perception of an attack or threat to our well
being. Anger can be a very healthy thing. It can also be a very
dangerous thing. In persons within whom anger has become a
problem it is not the emotion of anger that's at issue, the
problem is the mismanagement of this anger. Mismanaged anger
turning to rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal
and professional relationships. Domestic abuse, road rage, air
rage, workplace violence, divorce and addiction are examples of
what happens when anger is mismanaged.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to
pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive
behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them
why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that
seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly
putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical
comments haven't learned how to constructively express their
anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many
Passive aggressive anger, anger turned to rage,
suppressed (hidden or unrecognized) anger, it's a big topic.
Don't tackle this one alone. If you are having communication
problems with your spouse, power struggles with your supervisor,
or sexual conflicts with your lover, you are probably struggling
with anger issues of your own which you may not recognize.
Tension and hostility become the recipe for dysfunction as
unresolved anger rules behaviour. We can help.
Anger action patterns come from
learned generational behavior exhibited by role models. These
role models are primarily strong individuals who taught incorrect
defensive mechanisms through their own conduct. This means that
some people often lack the cognitive ability to think through
situations. They often respond with inappropriate personal
management skills. They instinctively seek the fastest way to
defend themselves from attitudes and behavior viewed as
Cognitive restructuring therapy. Changing the way
you think. When you are angry you tend to think in highly
exaggerated, colourful terms. We will help you learn more
rational ones; show you how to avoid words like 'never' or
'always' when communicating about yourself or someone else.
You'll learn issue management processes and negotiating methods
that state what the problem is using 'I' statements, taking the
focus off of the other person and on to yourself. In short,
you'll learn to take responsibility for your own feelings.
We help individuals identify the defensive
postures they take when feeling threatened. Rage takes control of
the person and in turn, that person uses rage to control others.
These people do not look for ways to stop their anger; they act
without thinking and then look for ways to cool down. If you
don't know how to stop your anger, it grows and spreads to anyone
or anything that gets in it's way. Sound familiar? We can help.
Sometimes anger is repressed by internalizing and
denying. The passive-aggressive individual, for example, gives
the cold shoulder, spreads rumours, practices "motivated
forgetting" so as to frustrate others, and becomes depressed
(anger turns inward). The passive aggressive individual denies
his/her own feelings and effectively devalues them, allowing
anger to "leak out" long after any event causing the anger,
inevitably in other ways, directed at someone who by this time
has no idea why or what is happening to them. Such individuals
present a significant challenge and a great opportunity for
effective cognitive skills development. We can help.
We can help you learn to manage and express
anger directly in non-threatening ways that do not hurt others,
yourself, or others' property. There are three assertive
processes you will learn with us:
- Expressing: make clear what your needs are, and how to have
them met without hurting others. Being assertive does not mean
being pushy or demanding. It means being respectful of yourself
- Suppressing: holding in anger, trying to convert it into
something positive. Or taking action when you are not as angry
and can focus. The key here is that the suppressed behavior must
be expressed eventually or it may lead to a multitude of problems
as referenced earlier.
- Calming: controlling internal responses, taking steps to
lower heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings
- At this point, you can easily choose to walk away from a
- Fees with taxes included will be set at your first
- Therapy Fees range from $85 per hour to as low as $55 per
hour with ability-to-pay relief applied to Seniors, Students and
- Family Law matter mediation fees are $95 per hour.
- Business / Proprietorship mediation fees are set based on a
Schedule for Completion.
Internet Appointment Booking